Colbie Caillat - Try

July 16th, 2014
Fayetteville, AR
3:51 pm
Age: 20

Colbie Caillat - Try

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8

This is probably one of the most powerful videos I have seen in a long time. I love the message it has and I love that you can see the women take their make-up off. It shows how much stuff is pilled on our faces. It is unbelievable and actually kind of gross. 

Don't get me wrong, please don't. I love make-up! I think it is so much fun! I have tons of friends who are make-up gurus (Megan, Daniela, and Natalie, I am looking at you loves!). They are so pretty and so gifted with this art. Because that is what make-up is. Make-up is art. But that isn't the message this video is trying to send. 

It also isn't trying to show that women wear make-up for MEN! Don't you dare be so selfish to say that I wear my lipstick, eyeliner, and mascara to get you all hot a bothered. I don't give a damn what you think. I wear make-up to impress other girls more than anything. It is a competition. That is what the video is talking about. 

Women are other women's worst enemies, along with ourselves. I compare myself so much to other women. It doesn't really even cross my mind that men will notice too. I want to look just as good as those other girls. I want my skin to be just a clear as theirs. I want my eyelashes to be as full and long. I want to be as thin. But you know what? That probably isn't what they really look like. Sometimes, I just can't help it. 

Now, I know this has sounded pretty sexist. Suck it up for now, okay? This video isn't about men or their views so anyone who tries to bring up men's rights and their pressures needs to sit down for a moment. This isn't about men, let us have our turn. 

I wear heals to impress other girls. I wear make-up so they acknowledge that I am just as pretty as them. I wear these close so that I fit in with what other women say is 'beautiful'.

This video is about destroying that. Destroying what someone else tells you that you need to look like. 

Don't listen to those girls. Don't listen to those boys. Don't listen to those shows. Don't listen to that magazine. 

Do you like you? Because that is what matters. 

People are going to say that I am a hypocrite and whatever (haters gonna hate. no matter what). Yes in most of my Facebook photos I have make-up on. I have a make-up board on Pinterest. So what? 

But here, I know I posted this photo a couple days ago when I got my hair cut . . .

. . . yes, I have make-up on. My nails are done, my piercings are in. I thought I looked pretty damn cute. But no, this isn't what I look like when I wake up in the morning (unless I am lazy and just didn't take my make-up off the night before. Don't judge. All women have done it!) 

But here. I did it. I took a 'selfie' with no make-up, hair naturally dried, all I did was comb it a little when I got out of the shower. Here it is lovelies. This is what I look like when I get out of the shower, bright and shiny and new again. 

I've got acne, my eyebrows aren't full, my eyes don't stand out, blah blah blah! Who cares! My hair does this adorable little flip when it drys naturally. My cheeks look round and cute when I smile without make-up because I haven't contoured my cheekbones. I CAN RUB MY EYES WHEN THEY ITCH!!!! And I still look pretty damn cute. 

This is what the video is talking about. YOU loving YOU. Not caring about the boys, or girls, or magazines, or celebrities, or TV shows, or Photoshop. 

YOU LOVING YOU

So, you love you. If that means wearing make-up, you wing that eyeliner! If that means working out, you work those muscles! If that means tattoos, you get those tats! Just love yourself. I know the struggle. Anyone with the history of an eating disorder knows the struggle. It takes work, but you can get there. I have faith in you. 

Also, this is a kick ass song. 

You go Colbie Caillat. I applaud you. 

My rant is over. I leave you all a picture and all my love, 

Katie 

This is the face I make to bother my mom.

I think it is hilarious, she hyperventilates.

Feminism

July 8th, 2014
11:36 am
University of Arkansas
Age: 20

Feminism

You know what I hate more than almost anything? Like, more than I hate racists and Nazi's. Sexist people who believe women are inferior. 

I mean, even Hitler allowed women into the Nazi organization. Ever heard of the League of German Girls? Apparently most politicians haven't.

This makes me mad to the point where I won't think correctly. My vision goes red and I want to smack people. Just complete beat down. 

Here is another thing. Why is 'Feminism' a negative word? Yes, I believe women are just as good as men. Yes I believe the we should all be equal. Yes, I believe I am smarter than a lot of males, and females, I have met. That's not a negative thing. Feminism isn't a bad thing, it is simply a woman standing up for herself or the men who will stand up with her. 

It kills me that in this day and age that women don't get paid the same amount for doing the same job. I hate that most of the high paying professions and positions of power have been, are, and will continue to be controlled by men. I hate that a MAN can make a decision about a WOMAN's body. 

     Actually, time out. 

   I hate that any person can make a personal private decision for another person.

Hop of Mr. Asshat Politician. I can do whatever I damn well please and there is nothing you can do about. SUCK IT! 

GTFO Mr. CEO Bossman. If I don't want to have a baby I am going to take my birth control and you can deal with it. 

Back up dude. Just because you are a man and I am a woman does not mean you are entitled to me. No where in the world does it say that I am required to marry you, bang, and have your children. Back off before I beat you senseless.  

1. I am a living breathing human being. 

2. I happen to have reproductive organs that identify me as a female. 

3. I DO have feelings, thank you very much. 

4. I am capable of making decisions for myself. 

5. Those decisions can be any or all of the following . . .

     1. I want to be single.

     2. I don't have to have kids.

     3. I can take any measure to prevent that from happening. 

     4. If it does happen, since men seem to be able to run away scott-free from a pregnancy I should      be able to as well. 

     5. Any hundreds of other decisions that I can't think of in my current state of blind rage.

6. I am not weaker or dumber than you. 

7. My body is not specifically designed to have a baby. 

    It changes to do that, and after it will never be the same.

8. Leave me alone and I wont beat the shit out of you. 

Moral of the story is: 

I can do anything any man can do. And I can do it in a pencil skirt and heels. I can do it in basket ball sorts and flip-flops. I can do it in combat boots and a military uniform. I can do it with a doctorate degree. I can do it with a baby on my hip and a minivan. 

Listen up men, men who think they hold power over me. Men who think I am weak and inferior. 

You don't own me.

You never have and you never will.

I am not a 'bitch' because I stand up for myself and my fellow women. 

But hey, if that is what you want to call it then I am down. 

I am a Bitch, a Feminist, and a fighter for Equality.

Go screw yourself assholes, because you don't control me.

Sorry for the swearing, rage blackouts do that. 

I leave you with my extremely rage filled love and pictures with wise words from people way smarter than me, 

Katie 

 
 

Music

July 3rd, 2014
8:58 pm
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Age: 20

Music

Over the last two days (since I posted my panic attack and my first trip to the doctors) I have received so much love and I want to thank everyone for that. You all mean the world to me. Thank you!

Now, enough sappy stuff. I noticed yesterday and they day before that that I instantly reached for music. I broke down and lost my mind and they first thing I did to try and fix it was listen to music. Music is to therapeutic. It has helped me with so much and it also helps ward off people when I really don't want to talk to them. 

In middle school and high school I played clarinet. That kind of music is different than the music most people think of when you talk about the magic. Because of band I made a lot of friends and it was my favorite class during the day. Band is where I got close to Zachary and we still talk music even though I am not in band anymore. It was such a satisfying thing to be able to read music. It was like knowing a foreign language or secret code that only other similarly cool people knew about. It opened up so many doors and it also helped me get over that HORRIBLE taste in music every middle schooler has. 

When I was that age, I would have killed anyone who said that. 

In high school and University especially music has become a calming tool and a coping mechanism. Nothing helps calm me down more than Ed Sheeran and Matt Nathanson. In what other way could I have Disney movies with me always if it wasn't on my iPod in the form of songs? How would I survive without Book of Mormon or RENT? 

Music also helps to form bonds. I am engaged to a man who listened to Disney music with me the first time we hung out. I shamelessly have jam secession in my car with my cousins and best friend while playing One Direction. THAT'S RIGHT! I AM A DIRECTIONER!!!!! 

I will also blame music as the reason why I can't remember math formulas and stuff like that. My brain is full of thousands of songs worth of lyrics. How can I possibly be excepted to memorize quadratic functions? 

When people tell me they don't really listen to music, or they don't like music I just shake my head. There is no way a person can't like music. You may not like what is played on the radio (I know I don't) but that isn't the only music out there. Experiment and just get on YouTube or iTunes. Ask friends. Music is a wonderful thing and it connects people from different places and different walks of life more than a lot of other things can. It provokes such powerful emotions (I may or may not be sobbing at my computer listening to "18th Floor Balcony" by Blue October. That is seriously a beautiful song), how can anyone not want that?

Music is awesome. It really is. 

I leave you lovelies with a picture, all my love, and the hope that you'll go listen to some song you really love. I would really love to know what your favorite songs are! Let me know.

Katie

That's the INSIDE of a cello . . . be impressed.